Sep 16, 2011

A Facebook Story

I actually won't be sharing any techie tips today but I thought this post would be relevant to today's Mommy Moments.

Let me share you a story.

My eldest has a Facebook account. He has one because his cousins have FB accounts and so they play games and chat and stay connected online. When school started when he was in Grade 3, he begun to have more friends, all of which were classmates, teachers and schoolmates. I moderate everything on his wall post. He is not allowed to approve friend request without telling me, he is not allowed to post anything on his profile without us approving it first. the most he could do freely on his FB is play games and chat with classmates after school. And even the games are sometimes screened. 

So everything was okay until a month or so ago. One day while browsing his wall feed, he shockingly told me, "Momma, look at XX (let's call the classmate XX) wall. His mama posted something." I looked and was shock to see on his friend's wall, on a ten year old's wall, was a status message of  an adult. I really don't want to go into details but the gist of the story is XX's parents separated long time ago, XX dad has a girlfriend, XX mom feels that girlfriend is claiming that XX as her own based on photos and comments, and girlfriend asked XX to take out mom's photos on his FB. XX's mom used XX's FB account and lashed out to new girlfriend through XX FB wall, which could be read by all classmates, teachers and all of XX friends.

My first reaction was shock. I was shocked, annoyed, and irritated that I had to explain what's going on to my nine-year-old. Things like this should be kept among adults. I wanted to comment and say that her post on his son's FB wall was inappropriate. But I decided against it. For the poor boy's sake who was very close to my son. I didn't want to add anything more to his embarrassment. Fortunately, the negative posts stopped at some point. But now, everybody knows what we've been wondering about for a long time, why we don't see XX's mom at school. So sad. 

My son and I had a heart to heart talk. I told him, "Whatever they say at school about this, keep out of it. These are adults' concern, not kids'. If your friend XX asked you about it, just tell him you read it but Mama said not to worry about it." I didn't know what else to say, and honestly, I don't know if that's the right thing to do. I really feel for his classmate, XX. 

This incident prompted me to do some things on my FB account which I have forgotten to do: 

1. I made a friend list and include a list of KIDS ONLY.  Sometimes, I forget that I have nieces, nephews who shouldn't be reading some of my posts. 

2. I put a disclaimer on my son's FB that his Fb is moderated by an adult. I guess it wouldn't really do anything much but I just wanted them to know. just in case. :)

3. Today, I blocked that particular account. I don't feel that the posts were made by XX anymore. Some of them were too negative for a ten year old. He has another account and they can still stay as friends online and offline. This is the first and only time I did that. After blocking, I realized I should have only hidden the wall posts. Well, I'm only human, and a mom at that. 

I have also limited my eldest' computer time due to low grades on two subjects. He's not allowed anymore to use the computer during weekdays. And so far, it has been five days already that he's offline. He's been very obedient and I realize now that this should been the ideal situation for us in the first place.

So that's it, that's all I have share for now. Hope you learned something from this. Happy weekend mommies! Let's all stay positive and blessings will come pouring in


  1. that's alarming, girl.. and you're right.there are things that should be kept among adults. i commend you for being vigilant of your kid's FB account..

  2. What a heartbreaking experience. That's why I myself won't approve of minor kids to have FB accounts or other social networking accounts. :(

    Visiting for MM. I also share my own Techie Tips. You are welcome to drop by mine! :)

  3. you did the right thing, it's a situation that kids would still wonder about but telling him to stay friends and keep the topic out of conversation is wise as well...

  4. good thing you are actively monitoring your son's FB account. we have to be more vigilant in teaching our kids since we can never protect them forever from this type of things.

    thanks for sharing that with us this week at mommy moments!

  5. That's a really sad FB story that will hound the boy for a very long time. You've done the right thing, Mommy, in closely monitoring your son's FB account. Visiting late from MM!


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