Jul 8, 2008

fridays and saturdays

fridays and saturdays are sad days for me. friday afternoons, basti and sam packed up their things and sleep over in their lola's house where we used to live before. the kids grew up in that house and they love it there. basti look forward to fridays knowing that he'll be there till sunday. i can't sleep when they leave friday afternoons. it's not because i worry... i have no reason to worry . it's just that i miss them as soon as they head out of the door, all excited and looking so happy to be away, knowing that i'll see sam only the next day and basti two days after. i feel so alone, i can totally feel the emptiness of the house, and i feel so lonely that i can't go back to sleep . i watched dvd movies instead of sleeping. usually on fridays, i only get to sleep around 4 hours starting from 5pm to 9pm. before going home, their papa would drop by my mother in law's house to bring pasalubong and then would come home around 9pm. he'll wake me up, prepare some food for me, and by 11pm i'll be out of the house. saturdays after work, knowing there's no one waiting for me at home, i'll dilly dally around the mall or just go online, or sleep some more. i guess i should be thankful that i have extra time for myself, but somehow i'm not. i feel that those times should be for me and my kids and my husband alone, since we really don't have much time to bond together on weekdays. well, the kids bond with their father a lot during weeknights , but me, i usually just sleep the whole day after work being a call center agent. but what can i do, the kids love being there and i'm at the point where i have given up trying to force my basti to come home on saturdays. so even if i'm lonely, alone, and "single" during the fridays and saturdays, i try to enjoy it as much as i can. i watch a lot of dvd movies and tv series, go online a lot, do scrapbooking, sleep , sleep , sleep which i need anyway for my unborn baby. i guess i would like fridays and saturdays and sundays to be mine knowing that when the baby comes, i won't have much time for basti and sam anymore especially during the first 2 months. by the time my husband gets home saturday afternoon with sam in tow, i'm too exhausted to stay awake, so saturdays are really not good. but sundays are good though, especially when basti's at home. the boys bathe together, we cook lunch, we make palamig and desserts , go to church, or just watch movies together.sundays are fun. i just wish i have more time for the kids, hayy..